connection

forget the dots

lets connect the lines

make the parallels

become equilaterals

our worlds will collide

and our hearts entwine.

weve been running along

stuck on these tracks

but everything was wrong

were constantly looking back.

together we can derail this train

and relish in the beautiful catastrophe.

we need to get off this grid

and make a way of our own

lets connect the lines

make the parallels

become equilaterals

forget the dots

lets connect our lines.

something pt.2

I met insanity tonight
She walked me through her garden
Showed me all beauty it had to offer
There was much to see
We spent much time there

Ages and ages hence
The sun finally set
Everything faded to black
I found myself lost
In a repeat thought

I became a ghost tonight
Surrounded by paper cut out figures
Stuck in their own worlds
Their glass eyes looking right through me

I danced with death tonight
Waltzed beautifully around a grand hall
For an audience that had no face
My bones felt frail and brittle
As my cheek brushed against hers
We stood on the edge of the world
Inching ever closer
With each movement played by the orchestra
She whispered in my ear
All the temptations
Of death and its sweet release

Then I felt a presence that I had not felt in ages
Your presence, in angelic form
Came to comfort my wavering soul
You reminded me that you never left my side
And that all this was temporary and transient.

something pt.1

Transcending the blood-brain barrier
Flowing through my vessels
Working out to my hands & feet
& back to my heart, riding the crimson wave
Pupils dilate, light rapidly increases
This room becomes the only world we know
We destroy ourselves to create this universe
Trees sprout up & flowers blossom out of our chest
Birds take flight from our eyes
We create something from nothing
Then we entangle & galaxies collide
Passion engulfs the stars in flames
They fall from the sky & everything dies
As the roots undo, our world dissolves
The black abyss rolls in & over us
Like a fog off the California shoreline
We descend down the mountain, all is lost
this fleeting feeling, never found again.

Currently obsessed with this movie.

"Meet me...in Montauk"

Some one meet me there.

5:23pm and i am dead to the world.

i am constantly wondering who i really am.

i am constantly trying to box myself in.

i am constantly trying to use labels and genres to define myself.

i constantly feel that life would be so much easier if everything was clean cut, boxed, and labeled.

who the fuck am i?

what the fuck am i even doing?

where the fuck do i belong?

when the fuck will i know?

how the fuck will i know, if or when it happens.

all i want to do is have a nice simple life.

i want my car paid off as soon as financially possible.

i want my car to last me for the rest of forever, so i wont have to buy a new one.

i want to either live alone or with someone i really really like and/or love.

i want all the movies and musics my heart desires.

i want to remember all the german i learned in school and then some

i want and need to be more physically fit.

i need to get better at what i do so that when the time comes i can move on to the next level.

i'll never tell....you'll never know

http://www.sixbillionsecrets.com/

some are mine, some aren't.
some apply to me. some don't.
some make me cry. some make me cry even harder.

1. Sometimes, I wish I could fake my own death, just to see if anyone would notice.
2. I'm Bi-Sexual, and although I'm not hiding it anymore, I still wonder if God hates me.
3. I collect articles of clothing from people that mean the most to me.
   
4. I tell everyone I don't believe in God, and I don't believe in heaven. Really, I'm just afraid that there is no such thing as heaven, because then i'll never see my mom again. I'm preparing myself for disappointment.
5. I started cutting in 7th grade. You knew all along and never once tried to help me. I fought with the addiction for 5 years until I found someone who cared enough to help. Now that you are an alcoholic, I can't bring myself to help you knowing that you never wanted to help me.
6. Sometimes I feel like I am doomed to a sub-par life. I'm kind of okay with it.
7. It's hard to say you're still my best friend. You're always too busy for me. I listen to your problems. Your never around for mine.
   
8. I need help, lots of help. I need to be medicated. I just won't openly admit it because O'm afraid it means losing you.
   
9. You have no idea, that when I sing in the car, it's not me singing along, it's me singing to you. You asked why I don't go on stage, and the reason is on stage you might not be there to listen while I sing to you.
10. I drink because of you. I drink to forget you. I drink so it won't hurt anymore. I drink because of what you did you my two sisters and I.
    
11. I know you think your family is breaking apart. Even though I know mine is much worse, I'll still keep a smile and help you through it because your my friend.
12. When I was younger I used to pray and wish that everyone who was sick would give their sickness to me so they wouldn't have to suffer.

sometimes i am beautiful.
sometimes i believe this is truth.
sometimes.