Monday, June 21, 2010

i'll never tell....you'll never know

http://www.sixbillionsecrets.com/

some are mine, some aren't.
some apply to me. some don't.
some make me cry. some make me cry even harder.

  1. Sometimes, I wish I could fake my own death, just to see if anyone would notice.
  2. I'm Bi-Sexual, and although I'm not hiding it anymore, I still wonder if God hates me.
  3. I collect articles of clothing from people that mean the most to me.
  4. I tell everyone I don't believe in God, and I don't believe in heaven. Really, I'm just afraid that there is no such thing as heaven, because then i'll never see my mom again. I'm preparing myself for disappointment.
  5. I started cutting in 7th grade. You knew all along and never once tried to help me. I fought with the addiction for 5 years until I found someone who cared enough to help. Now that you are an alcoholic, I can't bring myself to help you knowing that you never wanted to help me.
  6. Sometimes I feel like I am doomed to a sub-par life. I'm kind of okay with it.
  7. It's hard to say you're still my best friend. You're always too busy for me. I listen to your problems. Your never around for mine.
  8. I need help, lots of help. I need to be medicated. I just won't openly admit it because O'm afraid it means losing you.
  9. You have no idea, that when I sing in the car, it's not me singing along, it's me singing to you. You asked why I don't go on stage, and the reason is on stage you might not be there to listen while I sing to you.
  10. I drink because of you. I drink to forget you. I drink so it won't hurt anymore. I drink because of what you did you my two sisters and I.
  11. I know you think your family is breaking apart. Even though I know mine is much worse, I'll still keep a smile and help you through it because your my friend.
  12. When I was younger I used to pray and wish that everyone who was sick would give their sickness to me so they wouldn't have to suffer.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010




sometimes i am beautiful.
sometimes i believe this is truth.
sometimes.