The music of a silent generation.

With much thanks to a very good friend of mine, Dirk Thompson, I have a great love and appreciation for instrumental music. And it all began in the summer of 2007, it all began with Explosions In The Sky. After that I discovered Godspeed You Black Emperor! And so many more since then. The reason I love such music is that you can get lost in it. There are no vocals, so there is no strain in attempting to remember the lyrics. You can close your eyes and visualize vibrant bursts colors, or stare out into the distance and let your mind wander. I have recently been discovering new instrumental bands and it has been a great experience. In fact I love discovering new music in general. I love finding a band that really speaks to me and delving deep into that band, collecting all their recorded works, and learning band member names, facts, and history of the band. And in my opinion, if a band can speak to me in a way that isn't straight forward and with out using words to paint the picture or spell it all out, then they are truly the masters of their art.


"I went into the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life and see if I could not learn what I had to teach, and not, when I came time to die, discover that I had not lived." - Henry David Thoreau

this place

This place

This place

Once so foreign

Now more familiar

Than my own face.

This place

Never lets me down

It is always here

Whether I want it or not.

In this place

I can b

King of my domain

And master of my trade.

In this place

I can always find

The comforts of a friendly face

And the solidarity of routine.

This place

Is my life

My home

And my grave.

Heart of Hearts

Heart of Hearts.


How peculiar my heart has been these days.

As soothing as the rain against a window it once was

Like the ticking of a bombs clock it now sounds

Louder it grows and more unstable as the hours wither away.

This is the dawning of an era, a reckoning

And ever am I changing, never fully fledged, always a changeling

Still seeking what is seldom sought, the Heart of Hearts.

But when did it happen, this wretched change?

Did it creep in like storm clouds over the horizon?

Did it happen while I slept?

Or have I have been like this always and just now am I waking up?

Always will I be seeking that which is seldom sought, my Heart of Hearts.

work work fucking work.

I do not mind working at all; in fact I just might be a workaholic. I don’t always enjoy it but I do it because I have to do it to make a comfortable, content life for myself…oh, and because I love money. Hah. The place I work at I know won’t be my job for the rest of my life, but for right now it works for me. But there are two things that annoy me about it.
First, when everyone and their aborted baby feels the need to tell me that I can do better than this job and tells me what I “need” to do in order to have a “happy, normal life” but what if that isn’t what I want? What if I am fine with just being content, what if I’m okay with mediocrity? Just because you aren’t doesn’t mean I can’t? Well, to all you self-righteous assholes I say “FUCK YOU!”
Second, when some fucking jack hole gets a job and wastes everyone’s time and money to get the job and get trained and then proceeds to call in “sick” once a week and eventually quit because they are mad that their hours got cut. Oh and the icing that big slice of cake is, while calling and telling the employer that they are quitting, they tell them everything that they are doing wrong to run the business….yeah….about that…
Dear people that are like this, FUCK YOU! All you do is screw over everyone else and you don’t give a fucking damn about anyone other than yourself. You all are a bunch of fucking idiots with a fucking piss poor work ethic. And I fucking hate you all.
And
Dear entry level employees, you DO NOT know how to run a business. You are barely in your twenties, if that. So please SHUT THE FUCK UP and do your fucking job. Do what you fucking get paid to do. If that it too difficult for you or if it painfully interferes with your weekend party schedule, again I say SHUT THE FUCK UP and go somewhere else that will tolerate your goddamn bullshit. We do not want or need lazy ass fucking scum and the likes of you fucking everything up.
When you go about fucking things up you are not only screwing things up for the employer, you screw it up for everyone, the employer, the other employees, and most importantly the customer. You add on shit to the employers plate that is already stacked a mile high, you make the other employees have to work twice as hard and be twice as stressed out, and because of all that the customers get a sub standard quality of service. So fuck you, you fucking fucks.

I've heard this expression my entire life...never realized how peaceful a statement really is.

My entire life I have sat on the fence of religion. I was raised in a (somewhat) christian family and I have gone to church for as long as I can remember, but when it came to friends at school or work I would tell them that I did not believe in God just so I could fit in and be liked. But now that I'm at a point in my life where i don't care about what others think of me as much as I did then, I am completely unsure if I really do believe in God or not.

In one hand I think of all the things I learned growing up. That God is a just, kind, fair, loving God. That He is all powerful, always with me, forgiving and that He sent His son to die for me. And when I think of all that, it all seems so wonderful and amazing. And I wonder, how could I not believe in it.
And then there’s the other hand….Its not that I don’t believe in God, its just that im not sure if I can really believe in Him or not. There are just so many things that have happened to me personally, things that have happened to my friends and family, and things that I see going on in the world that make me think that there can’t possibly be a loving, caring, all-powerful God. Rape, abuse, murder, drugs addictions, drug dealers, prostitution, molestation, theft, corouption, kidnapping, etc. Where is God in all these things? Why does He allow them to happen? I have been told time and time again that all things happen for a reason. But I ask, what “reason” could possibly justify rape? or murder? I just don’t get it at all and for the past few years I have sought answers to thses questions and come up with nothing at all…so, for now, I just don’t know if I believe in God or not…