i'll never tell....you'll never know

http://www.sixbillionsecrets.com/

some are mine, some aren't.
some apply to me. some don't.
some make me cry. some make me cry even harder.

1. Sometimes, I wish I could fake my own death, just to see if anyone would notice.
2. I'm Bi-Sexual, and although I'm not hiding it anymore, I still wonder if God hates me.
3. I collect articles of clothing from people that mean the most to me.
   
4. I tell everyone I don't believe in God, and I don't believe in heaven. Really, I'm just afraid that there is no such thing as heaven, because then i'll never see my mom again. I'm preparing myself for disappointment.
5. I started cutting in 7th grade. You knew all along and never once tried to help me. I fought with the addiction for 5 years until I found someone who cared enough to help. Now that you are an alcoholic, I can't bring myself to help you knowing that you never wanted to help me.
6. Sometimes I feel like I am doomed to a sub-par life. I'm kind of okay with it.
7. It's hard to say you're still my best friend. You're always too busy for me. I listen to your problems. Your never around for mine.
   
8. I need help, lots of help. I need to be medicated. I just won't openly admit it because O'm afraid it means losing you.
   
9. You have no idea, that when I sing in the car, it's not me singing along, it's me singing to you. You asked why I don't go on stage, and the reason is on stage you might not be there to listen while I sing to you.
10. I drink because of you. I drink to forget you. I drink so it won't hurt anymore. I drink because of what you did you my two sisters and I.
    
11. I know you think your family is breaking apart. Even though I know mine is much worse, I'll still keep a smile and help you through it because your my friend.
12. When I was younger I used to pray and wish that everyone who was sick would give their sickness to me so they wouldn't have to suffer.

sometimes i am beautiful.
sometimes i believe this is truth.
sometimes.

darling you have yet to hold me close
during the war, with your heart
i can see strait down your crooked teeth
you feel so dumb, mouth open large
you've got exactly what I'm drinking for

darling you can bet to see my ghost
up on the wall watching you eat
yeah its true i dream about you two
grinding my mouth losing my teeth
you are exactly what a night-mares for.
i'll night marry you.

skipper i can barely swab the deck,
slipping around on fishes bones
commonly i write more than i speak
about our love with sticks and stones
i've seen you cast away this cast before
and your casting spells again

doctor I've got bandages and bloods
places underneath my minute gun
finally the funeral unique
to all my sins, there all long gone
they are exactly what this crying is for
they are exactly what this dying is for
you are exactly what I'm dying for

006

We drank each others blood
like a cheap red wine
We didn't stop
until you got cold and I felt old
We got lost in my mind
and found ourselves in your soul
We got tangled in this mess
and pulled at our heartstrings
We lost all sense of time
and knew that everything was fine

005

I felt that audible cry
come from deep within your eyes
and your heart was pleading
for one more gorgeous day...
though I am ten thousand
feet above the ground
and though lightning fights
against these wings
I took the ribbon that you tied
to my voice last night
and held on for dear life
knowing it would one day
lead me home to you.

Esao Andrews

MY HERO!