I tried to hide the terror in my eyes

So that you wouldn't have to see me like this

Trembling arms, clammy hands

Clawed at my ears to stop the voices in my head

I thought that visiting would restore me

I thought that was what I had been missing

But I'm sorry to say that this only make me worse

I don't have a bed for now

But I'm shaking alone on this couch

And just like Dan did

I think I'm finally going to

Break break break down

Only this time I'll do it silence

So no one will know

I'm slowly dying from the inside out.

Dissolving on the inside, fractured on the out

I tell my self "take care, take care, take care

Don't let this overcome you"

But the dream ended long ago

And I can't sleep away this nightmare

Its starts all over each time I open my eyes

Anything would be better than this ride

But I can't stop the car

Or open the door

The ship is sinking

There isn't a life vest in sight

And I've forgotten how to swim.

So for now I will delay the inevitable

And drown a little slower.

My Mask Of Insanity

Long nights with out sleep

Tossing and turning

Floating through the hours

Gazing into the abyss

Voiceless faces stare back With looks of pity

As dawn draws near

I adorn my mask of insanity

Forged from lies of contentment

To hide what truly resides within

Through the progression of the day

I feel the mask begin to crack

And fear the worst

As you begin to see inside

Covering up the faults

With feeble excuses

And when dusk nears

I begin fabricating a new masK

Each one weaker than the last

Brittle Bones

My brittle bones are frozen

Through and through

Shattering like glass

At the thought of you

My soul withers

Down to nothing

When I see the stars

And I realize I am meaningless

Stuck in a rip tide

Fighting toward the shore

Using the last ounce of hope

Praying for a life line

To get me out of this hole

Sinking fast to the oceans end

Threatening to swallow me whole

My tears are lost on the waves

Your name is silenced by the storm

As I join the others In this watery grave

Empty Spaces

I slept on the old broken couch

Cause the bed was just too big with out you

Your scent was still on the blanket

And the satin sheets reminded me of your skin

And I miss the feel of you against me

Like a quilt on a cold December night

And I miss the slow rise and fall of our chests

Like the lulling ebb and flow of the ocean

And I whispered to the darkness

Every thought that came to mind

As they were born within my heart

And the sweet nothings were lost

To the empty space where your photo use to be.

Runic Code

Each morning is set out in search

Of a fate I have yet to know

Wandering in the mountains of yesterday

Rambling, ranting, shouting, madly

Lost in a fortress of snow

All i have found thus far

Is that all I have left

Are handfuls of pipe dreams

And a half pack of smokes

Each day I find new meaning

In the caves where it is stowed

Alas its meaning is hidden

Written in bizarre runic code.

Powders & Poisons

I've been awake for days on end

Putting shit up my nose

Trying desperately to keep the anxiety at bay

Avoiding this nightmare you call life

Trying not to let the sadness in

But its everywhere I look

Its in everything I see

And when sleep finally comes

All I see are demons

Every time I close my eyes

It just stirs up white noise

Stirs up too many memories

Memories of Rhonda

Of Rhonda and myself

Of another time and place

Another life

But that life has dissipated

And now I am left with nothing

Left to fill the space you left

With powders and poisons

And now there's nothing left

And now I am nothing.